Adventures in Mos Eisley

I’ve always had a soft spot for everything space related. That’s why I invited my friend Caterin to come along to the planet Tatooine and the city Mos Eisley to see if she could find a piano there.

We had a little trouble entering the city, since we didn’t have the right visas in our intergalactic passports, but that was easily solved for such experienced travelers as us. I put on a fetching Jedi cloak before we made our way to where the music in Mos Eisley is to be found: Chalmun’s Cantina.

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Inside, Caterin paid three creds for a cold beer, while I used my Jedi powers to get a free bottle of vodka from the friendly bartender Dirjha Summers. Even before she started drinking, Caterin began shouting «Death to the Empire». I told her to be careful, and she quickly made some excuses, saying she meant something else.

«Are you new on the town, ladies,» Dhirja asked. «Yes, we’re from Planet Claire,» Caterin answered. «Never heard of it,» the bartender confessed. «Watch out for sunburn here. And Jawas. Steal you blind, the little buggers.» Caterin whispered that we were on the lam. «Who isn’t honey,» Dhirja said. «If you see a bounty hunter, slip out the back. There’s a sandcrawler outside town, they might hide you for a price. It’s not safe to travel the wastes alone. Tusken raiders live there, and dragons.» I said we were looking for a piano. Now, each planet has its dialect, but Dhirja understood that I meant what she would call a nalargon. Sadly, she didn’t know about any around.

Outside, our quest continued. Caterin once again shouted «Death to the Empire». I asked if she was nuts, and she said she was from Planet Claire. «So, yes. We shall liberate Planet Claire from the Empire horde.»

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We found a little Jawa sitting on a landspeeder. I tried my Jedi tricks on him, saying: «You will give us your speeder.» But the little guy was either sleeping or stoned.

A little further on, we found an admin and an owner of the place. «We are looking for a piano,» I said, but got the answer that this was a Star Wars roleplay sim, and not a piano shop. As if I didn’t know. Nevertheless, it was to be my first insult of many that day.

A guy called UnlivedPhalanx McMahon approached. He said he’d heard rumours about two human females needing to get out of town. «I’ll help you ladies, for a small price.» A droid then offered his help too, saying «It only costs a kiss.» «That’s a reasonable price,» I said, but Caterin told me to speak for myself. «I don’t mind robots,» I said. Oh-oh. Stupid of me. «I’m not a robot. I’m a droid. Now I’m insulted and won’t help you,» the little guy said, and turned on his heel. Some more discussion with McMahon followed (where he claimed to have heard about Planet Claire). Caterin said we had 200 credits, and he settled for 99. It was a deal.

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In the mean time, we were accompanied by no other than Darth Vader, whom the little droid immediately picked a fight with: «Vader needs to die!»

Some confusion followed. McMahon asked what we wanted him to do. «Well,» said Caterin, «the point was to get us out of town on your fast spaceship. Or have I misunderstood?» «Well, I don’t really have a fast ship,» he said. «Ok, a slow one will do,» said Caterin. «As long as you have a minibar. We like to drink on Planet Claire.» «Well, how can I put this, I don’t really have a ship,» said McMahon.

I sensed this was getting us nowhere fast, and walked away to find a reliable wookie. Caterin put on her astronaut uniform. «Call me Buzz!» «Okay, Mr. Aldrin,» I said, and she quickly corrected me: «Ms.» It was the day when I couldn’t stop insulting people.

The droid came back, and I was quick to apologize for my earlier insult. He said he was malfunctioning cause he was old and rusty. As he turned to go away, Caterin shouted after him: «Rust bucket,» then told us to run. After all, the droid was armed, but we got away.

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«Who can we next insult,» she then asked, but now the both of us really were hot and tired, she in her helmet and I in my cloak. Plus, there were neither pianos nor nalargons to be found anywhere. So we flew back to earth and found comfort in a chilly art gallery. What a day.

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~ by theresecarfagno on September 20, 2007.

12 Responses to “Adventures in Mos Eisley”

  1. Hee, hee, that was fun. Still, no pianos…there must be a planet out there somewhere…..?

  2. Yay, and we’ll find it :-)

  3. Much fun for the reader too! Maybe next time you can say you come from your own private Idaho. :)

  4. Haha. Will do, Veronique ;-)

  5. too busy eating my Rock Lobster!

  6. If you two were Americans, I’d say you’re two of the principal girls of the USA. But I guess you’ll have to be two of the principal girls of the EU instead. :)

  7. Oh Veronique; I’m from Norway, and we’re actually not members of the EU. But I’m really flattered to be a principal girl of something, so, um, let’s say we’re two of the principal girls of the north-east Atlantic :-)

  8. Well we’d love to have you in the EU Therese!

  9. Thanks for the great story about our city! Come back and visit us sometime. (but we still dont have any pianos ;) )
    Helga Eusebio
    Sim Owner

  10. You’re welcome, Helga – we had a good time. And now that Cat isn’t searching for pianos anymore, we can behave like ordinary aliens …

  11. […] van Gogh museum Virtual Starry Night is so well visited. Two search terms leads to Cat’s and my adventures in the Star Wars sim, while the rest is evenly distributed on different […]

  12. saatana ole turpakini paskapää

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